When I was 12 years old, I fought with a classmate at elementary school. My mother came to school with her knitting needles. Without saying anything, she beat me in the school office. The teacher knew why we fought, but she didn’t sympathize and didn’t stop my mom from beating me, while the guilty child laughed scornfully at my beating. That’s probably the biggest insult I’ve ever received in my life.
Self-esteem matters from an early age. No matter how painful my mother’s beating was, I did not shed my tears. But even the strongest person also wants to be protected.
Last month, a 17-year-old high school student jumped off Shanghai Lupu bridge at night because his mother scolded him after he had conflicted with his classmates. The youthful age of 17 was gone in five seconds.
That boy must have been full of sadness. Maybe he thought even if the whole world was blaming him, at least he had his family to comfort him and stand behind him.Or maybe he thought simply, “I’ll be alright if my mom comes.” However, the mother had done nothing but scolding.
Tiger parents in China are seen as pushing their children to succeed in any way. They wish their children to be the best in the world. But what’s so bad about Chinese family education?
The bad thing is that most tiger parents are self-centered and pressure their own thoughts on their children without really telling them how to relieve emotions and how to judge the right and the wrong.Times have changed, so must the expectations and the parenting.
Thailand once reported a piece of news, the quarrel between the father and the son. The father finally said to his son, “You bastard. Why don’t you just die?”
He put the gun on the table, and the son immediately picked up the gun and killed himself. It is unimaginable that when the kid did this, the father thought his son was playing “dead” and slapped him.
How many parents actually pass the gun to their kids?
In junior high school, my cousin’s watch was stolen. She went back home and cried in front of her parents. Instead of comforting her they asked, “why weren’t other people’s stuff stolen? Why don’t you put it away?”
She cried and her parents said to her, “If you keep crying, then get out of here!” From then on, she would not talk to them about any grievance she suffered outside.
For a long time, she kept asking herself: am I not good enough? By the time she realized no matter how hard she tried, they would not be satisfied. She had grown up, but the damage was hard to erase.
The interesting thing is that our parents always say, “I did it for you,” expecting us to become what they want, but no one asked us to become what we want to be.
As a parent, I want you to take care of your children away from the “bridge.” Those negative and extreme words can only bring you temporary venting.
As a child, I hope that when your parents blurt out hateful words, you can think calmly and understand that life is very precious, so don’t make a hasty decision.
Mom and Dad, we know you love us so much, but please change to a softer way to educate us.
The world is changing, you need to change too.